Dispassionate yet strangely
compelled to persevere;
one wonders where this is leading.
Unsettling lack of endpoint,
a purpose yet unknown;
pressure inside: gravitational,
dragging ever downward.
One feels that hollow pull
with no defining origin:
a chemical reaction…
but is that excuse too easy?
Sometimes the weight of this
(a bizarre dispossession of ego,
an external force from within:
dichotomous in nature,
but somehow so familiar)
one wants to excise; eviscerate;
but that is hardly possible.
A toothache in the mind,
catharsis and reason absent:
darkness’ cocoon invites…
but is that refuge too easy?
Internally one knows that
one can wait it out:
at some point it will vanish;
evaporate in euphoric mist,
replaced by brilliant unrealism.
That knowledge is academic:
no visceral confirmation exists:
A faith one must embrace,
bringing with it little solace,
but at least it isn’t Jesus…
that delusion is too easy.
Some people turn to suicide;
Others turn to lithium.
Either smooths the path,
removing the peaks and troughs:
a perfect, flattened waveform
(no lows, no downs, no highs)
erasing one’s creativity,
removing self-awareness.
Better to ride the madness,
embrace the jagged waveform…
Medication would be too easy.